Spring Break!!

I am having a great time visiting all my family but you know what that means....FOOOD! and lots of it!! I don't think I've turned a single thing down...candy, donuts, pizza, fries, burritos! The works! I really need to calm down because this is what I always do...get down to a good weight and start getting compliments and what not and then I start the sabotage....I stop watching what I'm eating....start slacking on the exercise and before you know it....BLAM!! Gained it back!

Well not this time! I just got here on Thursday and since then I've been having my fun and eating whatever I want but I'm gonna stop all that. For the rest of the week I am going to try to get some from of exercise everyday and I am going to cut back on my eating and act like I've got some sense. I've gotten compliments from 3 family members already since I've been home telling me how good I look....I'm not giving up!!!

I'll check in later :)

150!

Not in the 140s but still very happy :) more later!

Day after tomorrow.

So my official weigh in day is coming up! If I could give myself a grade I would say 100% on the exercise (I have been doing cardio workouts like crazy for two hours a day since Friday) and about a 78-80% on the eating. After the whirlwind weekend of visiting my sister the other weekend I got back on a bad eating streak that was hard for me to kick. It was kinda strange because I would eat good all day and have ONE bad meal but it kept happening like everyday. I realize that if my eating was at least 90% I probably would be farther along in my journey but hey I'm trying and I'm not perfect. Spring break is on the horizon which means a lack of exercise and a LOT of temptation but I am ready for a bit of break. I have been working out like crazy for the almost the last 4 weeks so I want to tone it down a little bit. I used to enjoy going to the gym but I've been going so much lately it feels more like a chore than something to be enjoyed. When I come back I need to work on varying my routine while at the gym and include weight training again (been slackin on that part lol). While on vacation I'm going to make sure that I use portion control, moderation, and stopping when I'm full because I tend to ignore those things whenever I start eating crazy!! I am really hoping to break into the 140s I mean all I need to see to be happy thursday is 149!! Please God...PLEASE. I know I haven't been perfect but I have been working harder and longer then I have in the past. I really need this to help motivate me to do more. I mean graduation is not too far off....I need to make some progress!! (I say this after I had Jack in the Box for dinner...I got a small everything though. Small drink and small fry!!) We shall see what the scale says :) Cross your fingers...

Eh...

Well I was doing amazing. But then? I went to visit my sister in LA and my one bad meal for the week turned into 3 days of: Cheesecake Factory, Starbucks, Bucca Di Beppo, Tommy's, Panda Express, and Crumbs (a cupcake shop). I was BAD!! :( I've been doing so amazing up until now and I really hope that this wont undue all the hard work I've done over the last 2 weeks. I've decided I am really going to kick it into high gear this week, I only have a little over week and a half until I go home for spring break and I weigh myself on the 24th. I know tomorrow the week will start and I am going to get on back on track but I just hope that I won't have to do too much damage control ... well at least I dont know how much I weighed before I left so I will never know if I gained weight this weekend lol Gotta find some silver lining. The main thing is that its time for me to get back on the grind because I love the way I have been feeling lately and the way my clothes have been fitting (I bought two new shirts at Forever 21! One was a SMALL....it must run big!! lol) and I refuse to stop so this next week and a half is going to be nose to the grindstone!

Homesick.

So obviously this has nothing to do with my weight but I'm homesick :( -- I go to school in Southern California but I'm really from Northern California and I am really ready for a break from school and my roommates. Someone remind me why I decided to live with 3 other women?? Please??? Hanging on to my sanity is a daily occupation :| I find myself becoming annoyed with people because they are there and not because of anything they have done. Or things that didn't use to bother me too much (people taking a crappy tone with me because they are stressed or having a bad day or when my actual roommate hogs the bathroom at all times of the day) are driving me NUTS! I want to get out of this friggen apartment before I strangle someone. Me and my immediate roommate have had issues before (this is when we didn't even live with one another)so I am just trying to make it through this year drama free but I really need a break from her before I strangle her as she snores up a storm in the middle of the night! Sigh...I wish I could just go home to MY house and be with my grandparents...in my home....in my room...my bed....my bathroom....where I could kiss and hug them goodnight EVERY night instead of saying it over the phone (I was basically raised by them so I love them TO DEATH). I know I am feeling like this because I am getting so close to graduating but sometimes I feel so over it all, like when will this whole undergrad thing be over? But I know deep down I'll miss it.

So as for weight things are going pretty good. I have been to the gym everyday this week and I have been hitting my calorie burn and my soreness has even gone away so my workouts aren't so painful anymore. My eating has been pretty good -- I've been planning my cheat meals in advance and its only a MEAL rather than a cheat day. Last week I had nachos at a basketball game and this week I am visiting my sister in Los Angeles so we are going to get a cheeseburger and fries and I'm having a cupcake!! I am super excited because I haven't had any form of sweets in almost two week so this will be a nice treat. I am bringing my workout clothes so we can get in some form of exercise while I'm there and I am hitting the gym everyday until Friday to make sure that I stay on track. I really hope I'm losing weight. I mean I'm doing everything that I promised I would do and I feel like I'm doing a pretty good job at it but my fear is I'll get on the scale and I'll only have lost like 1 pound or something. REALLY hope that doesn't happen. If so I guess I am just stuck at this size because there is nothing more than I can do. I have gone to gym everyday since Friday last week, I mean I have been on my GRIND so math-wise this just has to work. I've been trying to look at my body and I know I am being impatient because I want to see instant change....I get disappointed because my stomach feels like it looks just as big and my clothes basically feel the same but granted it has only been like a week and half and in another 2 and 1/2 I will probably look and feel a little different than I do now but its hard when you feel like you've been trying to lose weight all your life. I am so tired of my whole life revolving around weight loss....its mentally exhausting. I will stay motivated though because I am so anxious to finally weigh myself on the 24th (by then it will have been about 3 and a half weeks) to see if I have broken back into the 140s (somewhere I haven't been since my sophomore year of high school). Keepin my fingers crossed...

Going strong: The Cards are Stacked

So this is week one completed of my new weight loss plan and I'd say so far so good. I eat salad at least once a day, have been drinking tons of water, and hit the gym 5 times this week. I have stayed away from the scale (since I won't be weighing myself until the 24th) and I am trying to rely on what I FEEL rather than what the scale SAYS...although it is scary because there is this huge fear that I am going to work my butt off and then when I weigh myself its going to say I am only down two pounds after 3 and half weeks of working hard (hey its happened before)...but I'll just have to wait and see (and PRAY!! lol). Yesterday was the first time that I let myself have a freebie -- I went to a basketball game at my college and I indulged in some nachos...and it was funny because I was pinning for these nachos all week but once I had them I felt they were just okay...not bad just nothing to write home about. I mean I would have rather have had a baked pork chop and some asparagus instead -- I ate about half of the nachos (which was actually a lot) and threw the rest away and didn't eat again for the rest of the night. Since I felt bad about eating the nachos I came home and did a little dance exercise for about 35 minutes. I realize I didn't work off the nachos but it felt good to know that I at least worked hard enough to burn 100 calories.

Another thing I've been doing is watching every weight loss show possible. I watch the biggest loser and then I bought a season of the show for my iphone and I watch that while working out at the gym. The other night I was watching heavy, I just finished watching the finale of I used to be fat and now I've started watching shedding for the wedding, lol. I am determined to remain motivated throughout this thing. I don't have the time to not be motivated I graduate in 77 days and I've got to make this happen!! I WILL NOT FAIL THIS TIME! I refuse to become accustom to losing! I realize I am the type of person who not only needs a pep talk everyday but I need a pep talk throughout the day. Everyday I have been talking to myself, telling myself how much this whole thing means to me, how good it feels to be healthy, how far I have come, and how far I am going to go. I can't wait for the day when I don't have to stuff my stomach into my pants and I instead can just slide my pants over it. Its hard because you want to get there so fast but it takes time, sigh, but I know if I stick with what I'm doing I will see a change! I am changing for good and there is NO going back. Not only do I want to be hot, healthy, and happy for graduation but I also have a trip to Maui at the end of the summer and the excitement of starting my new life in Washington, DC. I'd say the cards are stacked in my favor ;)